[hitchup]

1) Kidnappers are rarely interested in you.
2) In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3) No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
4) People call at 9pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6) There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7) Things you buy now won't wear out.
8) You can eat dinner at 4pm.
9) You can live without sex, but not your glasses.
10) You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
11) You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12) You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13) You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
14) You sing along with elevator music.
15) Your eyes won't get much worse.
16) Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
17) Your joints are more accurate meterologists than the national weather service.
18) Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
19) Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.